I realise weeks have gone by since last I wrote, leaving everyone in the dark about how surgery went, and what has been going on since. I didn’t even think of it until more than a few people started asking me how I was doing, and it occurred to me my lack of blogging was the reason why! So let’s see what I can remember here…

Our trip down was uneventful, which is always good. We had plans to stay with different friends than usual, and upon hearing that news, Jack promptly decided there was no way he was going to like it. He has only ever known our time there one of two ways: living in our dear friends’ house, or staying with them. Not to worry though! All of that vanished when he walked in the door and discovered this house had a toy tow truck, (among many other amenities to thrill and fascinate a 3 year old)! He had such a good time, in fact, he keeps asking to return. The stay wasn’t only enjoyable for him; Matt and I were very well taken care of, and I couldn’t have asked for a more comfortable or homey respite after my surgery.

We arrived the night before, and I was under strict orders not to eat or drink anything after midnight. I really didn’t think this was going to be as big of a problem as it was, but when I woke up after dreaming about being thirsty, I knew this was going to be an issue. No water, no hard candies, no gum, no anything.  I arrived at the hospital parched and ready to sign in when MUCH to my delight—there stood my dear friend, who had showed up to visit while I waited. I was so excited to see her, that while it would be a stretch to say the time “flew by” as we waited from noon until quarter to four, I was kept pleasantly occupied and free of anxiety by the distraction. She left a few minutes before I was wheeled down to the OR; and gratefully, unlike last time, I had a chance to say goodbye and “I love you” to Matt before they wheeled me away.

When I arrived downstairs the prayers of many kept me at an even keel. The anesthesiologist came by, and when I asked about being put under again, he happily complied. I asked, because of the previous recommendation so strongly not to get it only a few weeks prior, if there were any risks I should be concerned about, but he assured me that with my health condition I had nothing to worry about. My lovely doctor showed up in scrubs, and rubbed my arm as one medical professional after another came by to explain what was going on. She later assured me that everything was going to be fine, but her presence and touch had already dissolved any residual worry within me, and I felt confident as I was wheeled in. This time the anesthetic took less than an instant. We didn’t get past the count of one, as I breathed so deep I was out like a light! I woke up in more pain than I remembered, and my dry mouth? Pretty much glued shut! I was asked how high my pain levels were. Always taking into consideration an unmedicated childbirth, I rated it at an ‘8’. I was given a shot of morphine and asked again moments later. “It keeps jumping from a 5 back up to an 8”; another dose was administered. Again they asked. Still at a 6-7. Another shot. Now? It ranged between a 3-5. “Is it helping at all?” They asked. “It just keeps making me heavier” I answered, feeling like another brick was added to the sack that was me, with each hit. Finally they administered Demerol, my body relaxed, and the pain let go enough to bear.

When they wheeled me back up to Matt he asked me how I was feeling, but between the heavy drugs and my dry mouth, I wasn't able to answer. I finally got some water in me, and they allowed him to bring me some food (thankfully I wasn’t nauseated from the general anesthetic); and both took the edge off of the haze I was in. When I asked later why it hurt so much more this time around, my doctor explained that it was because not only did I have one put in, but they also had to take one out. The combination of removing one, and making a larger incision (so this one could sit slightly further to my right); plus re-routing another tube (with one I swear is larger!) through the same vein in my neck, all contributed to my pain. The new device itself is larger, too, which likely didn't help in the pain department; and, it gives a larger profile than the last one (which was almost non-existent).

As much as it hurt the first day, the subsequent days were not even close to as bad as I felt last time. I took painkillers to manage it, but even still, I was able to regain mobility by the next day, visit a beautiful friend, the doctor for a follow-up, and even get it accessed before we left 3 days later! I have to admit, having someone put pressure around it so soon after getting operated on, and then piercing it with a gripper was more painful than I anticipated it would be.

Tomorrow will be access number 4 with the new port, and almost all tenderness is gone. My amazing nurse here was a pro at handling it when we first returned, despite the change in device. I have a larger scar on my chest now, and the one on my neck is more predominant than before; but they are healing up nicely, it is back to feeling like a part of me, and the convenience of it is unparalleled!

Since recovery, I have had some amazing days—some more productive than I have been in years! I will leave that for the next update though, and hopefully it will motivate me not to take so long to get back to you!

I can’t end this without saying thank-you. The peace I felt; the complication-free operation; the speedy recovery—all of it is an answer to your prayers; and there was not a moment I did not know that without a doubt, so thank-you. Thank-you all.

Blessings and gratitude,

Kate