This comes long overdue, although I am sure with Christmas and such that you all were at least as busy as I was and didn’t notice the lack of update.

To be honest, these are getting harder to write (less motivation for some reason) but I do feel bad for keeping you all out of the loop.

Most recent updates: The month of December was very busy, with us making the long drive to Southern Alberta to see our doctor again and get updated prescriptions, exams, etc.  We again were hosted by the Denis family, and I can’t say enough kind words of praise or gratitude towards them. We spread the trip out (as was necessary; I could barely move to get into the car for the trip home), but it was time well-spent. We were able to connect with their son more this time, and get real and valuable advice from him. Sometimes it is hard to hear; sometimes it is just what I want to hear; most of all, it is the truth about what I need to hear, and for that I am glad to have a source like him. Jack, as always, charmed his way into everybodies hearts while we were there, directing his audience to participate at his whim.

Upon returning home, I began my heparin shots. Derek’s advice to freeze the area beforehand continues to be much appreciated; as the area was so numb when my mother-in-law performed the first injection, I didn’t even feel it! Talk about a confidence-booster. Here: give yourself a needle—don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt one bit! In truth, it was one part freezing, two parts skilled nursing hands (of which I do not possess), so the next one didn’t go without pain completely.  With shaky hands I learned the gross truth about just how hard you have to push on a needle to get it to go into your skin (which was a lot harder than I anticipated!) They since have become routine and easier, but not yet to the point where I don’t get nervous and queasy whilst sticking myself!

Next week we make the long trip out to Lethbridge  to  get my PICC line inserted; we will stay for a few days or so after to learn proper care and how to give myself IV treatment, and then backtrack over to see our doctor and make sure all is well before returning home. I’m feeling really nervous about the surgery, and the commencement of IV antibiotics. I think my fear lies in three places; first being the unknown; second, the amount of pain and worsening of symptoms that is to come with the stronger drugs, and bacteria die-off; and lastly, an ever-greatening relinquishment of abilities and control. Time will clear up all three, I suppose.

This song has been stuck in my head and my heart for the past week. I struggle a lot with feeling stuck where I am, worrying that life will always be this way. Yet I know God is in this: He is in ALL of it. And He will be Lord over it, and beauty will rise from it, and I will be made new. Just like the song says. Here it is:

Beautiful Things-- Gungor

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me newYou are making me new

Happy New Year, everyone!