"Home" sweet "home"

Honey, we’re “home!”

We spent all day last Thursday and Friday packing like chickens with our heads cut off, trying to decide what was wanted, what was needed, and what would make the place feel enough like home.

Thursday evening we took a break from our frantic packing to head over to my parents’ house, where they graciously offered to host a “thank-you” evening to those who were the backbone of the fundraising committee. This, of course, was planned before we knew we were moving the next day, so the timing really wasn’t initially so bad. It was a wonderful opportunity to see people-- some I hadn’t seen in a really long time!  And when the evening wrapped up, I was given two precious gifts. One, a collection of letters from many of you (don’t let me go on about the tears I cried before I even started reading it!) compiled in the last week by my Wonder-Woman-of-a-friend, Carolyn.

The other: an intimate prayer session with some dear friends and family. And oh, was it beautiful!!

At the beginning, I sat there, praying silently as others did aloud, feeling like Jesus in the garden, waiting; waiting to go where He did not want to go; waiting, and begging for a way out. Nearer to the end, a vision came to me: footprints ahead of me. Not in water, or sand, but somehow leaving soft, lasting impressions in front of me. Then:  peace. So great was this peace that I could step, gently and confidently into each step in front of me, feeling the presence of the One who had walked them before.

 And I was ok. No more desperate pleas to get me out of this. No more anxiety about leaving my home. I was left with the most beautiful gift of the presence of Jesus, overflowing my heart and giving me all the trust I needed.

I read many of the letters when I got home that night. I have since read and re-read them all, knowing that book will be in tatters before I know it, when I return to re-read the words of love and inspiration as I need strength along the way. I stayed up until 2am reading them that Thursday night, and of course had to wake up to finish packing Friday morning. I was exhausted in a way that I have never been before. This, of course, didn’t help my concentration or decision-making abilities (let alone my anxiety levels!) But somehow (with the help of family and friends), we ended up with a truck full of goods; and, as we closed the doors, and said a silent prayer that we hadn’t forgotten anything truly important, we hit the road.

Usually the drive isn’t too hard on me. This time though, the lack of sleep + being out of bed packing, etcetera, showed me just how hard it could be. And as sore as I was, I think it was God’s way of helping me be thankful that I wouldn’t have to make the drive again anytime soon.

Matt’s parents, our little family, and our new nanny made the trip, just hitting a light snowfall in the last hour or so of our travels (thanks to all who prayed for good weather and safety!) We arrived at around 9:30pm, and I went to our friends’ (and now, neighbours’!) house to lie down while the strong ones unpacked enough for us to sleep in our new place that night.

The house is beautiful. There are many stairs. I’m not sure what you would call a house like this (a mulit-level split?) There are two small sets of stairs to get from the entry way to the “main” level, where the kitchen and bedrooms are, and two large staircases leading to the other levels; one up, into a large “greatroom”; one down to the basement, with a bedroom, bathroom, living room and laundry room. Jack, upon entering, had to climb up and down every set of stairs several times exploring, and then I think he gave 'em another go just for the heck of it!

 We brought just enough to furnish the greatroom (if that). I struggled to climb all those stairs Saturday afternoon so I could put my “feminine touch” on it to make it more homey and inviting and not so bare and huge. There is another small set of stairs from there (3 or 4, maybe) that lead to a small space that will be our office. It is much larger than our little bungalow, pristine, and, because of the size, quieter than at home, which is another bonus for me as I rest.

Saturday my parents joined us to finish the unpacking. Sunday morning, everyone went to mass, where our friends, Jen’s parents, had already gotten me on the prayer list. Our family just "happened" to run into my sister-in-law's sister three pews forward, stationed all the way from New Brunswick on missionary work! When Matt requested to bring me home the Eucharist, Father insisted on coming home to meet me, give me communion, and preform the anointing of the sick (which I had missed receiving two weeks ago due to a mix-up at our parish). He stood there, hands on my head, praying for a long time.  I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of welcome, gratitude, and God’s holy presence. The reassurance that this is exactly where we are to be came for the umpteenth time.

Yesterday was the final day for “company.” Matt’s parents and mine both packed up and left within a day of eachother. It is quieter, but thankfully, not lonelier yet. As my Dad left, he told me to get better, and I told him, “we are at the end of the road now.” And I didn’t just hope it, I felt it. For so long, God has been telling me to “wait”. I don’t feel that way these days. I’m not sure that my limited wisdom can interpret that for you, but I can say it doesn't feel that it is going to be long now, and that in and unto itself is a blessing!

After making a phone call, we clarified that tomorrow is the consultation for my PICC line (not the actual insertion yet). From there, we will get the surgery scheduled (sounds like it only takes around a week or so from the consult for most people). I still can’t help but feel with each stage that I have “so much to do” before I have even more of my abilities stripped from me. Did I tell you all that I learned to crochet online? Only about a month ago. I needed something to do in bed, and I LOVE it. I love being creative, and this is an outlet that I can express myself without needing many materials or movement. I am hoping the PICC line (or the herxes to follow) won’t interfere with it, because it feels SO good to experience that creative rush again!

Now, I am off to nap. I love you all and am so grateful for the ongoing support and prayers. God is here; He is evident; He is taking care of us, and He is GOOD!

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

 ~ James 1:2-4

Blessings to you all!

Kate