"The greatest greatest honor God can do for a soul is not to give it much, but to ask much of it." ~ St. Therese of Lisieux

This has been the theme for me in the past week. I had a very generous offer last week for the laying on of hands (which I gratefully accepted), and while I didn't spontaneously heal as a result, the experience was just what I needed. In the days following, the deep depression I was under had lifted. Not only that, but I had the opportunity to really embrace my gratitude for the gift that suffering is.

When I began my journey back into my faith, I was on fire for God; in the passion of my love for Him I begged that He would allow me to be more like Him in every way. I can't honestly say that becoming like Christ on the cross was what I had in mind though. My fire for Him still burns...steady coals vs. the raging fire that it once was. No less, but somehow deeper.

I want with all of my heart to be healed: soon, suddenly, without effort or continuing toil. More than that though, I want God's will. And the patience He has laid on my heart leads me to believe He is telling me to wait.

There is great value in suffering. Am I suffering because of God? Of course not. Is He allowing it? Yes. And because He is the King of kings, the Great "I AM," in all of His power and majesty He can, and will, heal me when He decides the time is right. Suffering isn't evil (Lyme disease is, I am sure of it!) but suffering because of it is not.

To ignore the gift of suffering, to fail to embrace this opportunity I have been given: that, to me, would be a greater waste than all the life this disease has stripped me of.

So this is what I will continue to hold on to in the weeks to come:

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." ~James 1:12

Have a good week, everybody!